As Scott Adams was chopping jalapeño peppers, he failed to follow the sound advice that he should use rubber gloves. Instead, once done, he washed his hands -- making sure he did not touch his eyes, membranes, and genitalia -- and carried on.
At first everything appeared to be fine. But five minutes later he felt a tingle on his hand, which then turned into a warm sensation, which then turned into... well, Adams explains it best:
Imagine turning a broom upside down, so the pointy bristles are facing up. You take your hand, palm facing down, and bounce it on the pointy bristles. Can you imagine how uncomfortable that feels on your hand? Okay, good.
Now imagine that a giant troll sees you playing with the broom. He snatches it out of your hand, chews the handle into a point and shoves it so far up your ass that you can taste it. Then he uses you like a huge flyswatter to kill a nest of porcupines that are living in his salt mine. My hand hurt like that.
|Baby Gaga: Breast Milk Ice Cream|
|Potato Salad KickStarter Project|
|The 'Serious Eats' Guide to Regional Sandwiches|
|Virgin's Indian Food|
|Crops Fed by Diluted Sea Water|
|“What can we do to make responsible use of plastic a reality? First: reject the lie.”|
|How to Avoid Jury Duty|
|On Instagram, Everyone Takes the Exact Same Photos|
|“This incredible inconsistency can make English really hard to master for non-native speakers.”|
|Japanese Robot Serves Ice Cream From Inside a Vending Machine|
|“Sending you changes in your media feed that are calculated to adjust you slightly to the liking of some unseen advertiser.”|
|“Lifting the electric motors out of Teslas and putting them in the chassis of other, formerly gas guzzling cars.”|
|Review of BenQ's treVolo S Portable Electrostatic Bluetooth Speaker|
|“Rejuvenation is Finally an Industry.”|
|“The cost could be so near to zero it will effectively be free.”|
|Go the Fuck to Sleep: A Children's Bedtime Book|
|“He portrays these abandoned malls as apocalyptic ruins.”|